When children (and adults!) become emotionally flooded they need time and activities to help their brain to calm down.

‘Time out’ comes from the basket ball game and refers to the time when the team need to stop and rethink before they go back into the game.

It should not be used as a punishment and should be used when other positive strategies have been tried first.

Choose an area of the room (or house for older children) where they can go for time out.

Reframe the area to be a positive one (not ‘the naughty step’ as they may think that is where they go to be naughty!)

Choose a calm time to explain to your child (before they are emotionally flooded) where they can safely go and what they can do to help them the next time they are feeling overwhelmed.

For younger children, set up an area with cushions, soft blankets, sensory toys (such as securely made rice in a bottle toys) and minimal stimulation (toy tepee’s are good for this).

Practice activities, such as:

• Blowing imaginary candles
• Blowing like a dragon
• Putting their hands together, squeezing and letting go
• Giving themselves a hug
• Stretching their arms in the air
• Breath in for 5, hold for 4, breath out for 6 (For older children, teens or adults)

Keep the activity short and positive to avoid ‘getting in the ring’.  

Use ‘when and then’ – “When you use kind hands and words you can go back to playing with ….”

Re-engage and praise ‘as soon’ as you see positive behaviour – “Well done for taking yourself to a quiet spot,” “Thank you for using a quiet voice “etc.

Move on once they have calmed down and do not keep mentioning the negative behaviour or force them to say sorry. 

Model using time out when you are emotionally flooded – say things like “I need to calm down so I’m going to walk in the garden or blow out imaginary candles” etc.

Play music or go for a mindful walk (‘What can you see/collect on the walk”) to turn around negative behaviours.