Do you feel your children are always arguing or would you like support when they do?
Sibling Rivalry is an emotional subject – we hate to see our children not getting on and you might think you have done something wrong when parenting them.
The good news is that a certain amount of Sibling Rivalry is normal – across the whole world siblings will argue.
The other good news is that they are also learning about boundaries, how to share and how to compromise – so it’s not all bad.
What is Sibling Rivalry?
Often this can be called sibling jealousy. They see the attention their brother or sister gets from a parent and (not consciously) they might think “that’s less for me”.
What can you do when they argue?
There is often a familiar pattern when Sibling Rivalry occurs – They argue, you hear it and you get involved.
The best thing you can do to support your children (as long as no body is getting hurt) is to:
- Stay out of their fight and give them time to solve it first.
- If this is too difficult for them (or you) support them by helping them to problem solve.
- Don’t take sides and don’t blame – you never really know the full story.
- Sit them down, use your active listening skills and ask questions such as:
What could you do now/next time?
How can you support each other with this?
- Give them the confidence to solve it themselves by telling them you think they can.
- Encourage them for next time by catching them being good and thanking them for solving it calmly.
These Sharing Parenting Videos show how your approach can hinder or support your children to problem solve themselves:
Suzanne explains more here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAXcJpW4fvc&t=210s
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