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Video Top Tips for Positive Behaviour

Some great ideas for any parents who have their children at home are popping up all over which is great. However, this can also be overwhelming and you may be feeling the pressure to be PERFECT!

Remember there is no such thing as a perfect parent!

We all do our best and that is good enough. Each of us is different and with different pressures – for some of us just managing to get up and get dressed can be a major achievement.

Plan for the worst and hope for the best – take each day as it comes, try to get daily fresh air and exercise, breathe slowly in (and out) and lower your expectations, reframe (focus on what you have done well (not on what you haven’t) speak to other adults (telephone, Facetime, Skype) and not just via written text and reach out for support when you need it.

Our amazing Sharing Parenting team have shared some top tip videos for parents and carers (and anyone really!) below. We hope these are useful and easy to watch and digest. Please share with other parents too.

You can also read lots of information on our News webpages here.

You can also email us with your parenting questions at info@sharingparenting.com and give us a call for confidential advice on 07867 568339.

Top Tips

  • Returning to School Tips

Starting school after lockdown feels very different than returning after the summer holidays or when children initially start school.

Like all of us children have had a lot of change recently with not being able to see friends and family, online learning and restrictions on going out. Some will also be worried about the virus. Children may also see us anxious which makes them worry too.

Some children are likely to find the transition back into school harder than others. Here are some tips to help with the transition back into school.

  • Anxiety and how to cope with it

Our Outreach Workers Nina and Ruth explain more about Anxiety and some useful strategies with how to cope with it here: 

  • Effective Discipline

Discipline is about Teaching and Learning and about responsibility and control of self. Nina and Ruth explain more here: 

  • Choices and Consequences

Giving your children choices or consequences is a parenting strategy/tip to help prevent ‘getting in the ring’ or a power struggle with your child. Suzanne explains more:

  • Top Tips if your are feeling Anxious 

Parenting can create anxious feelings at the best of time. Suzanne shares some top tips to support parents and their children: 

  • Sibling Rivalry

Do you feel you are always playing referee to your children?

Do you often ask yourself :

Why do they always argue when I leave the room?” 

How can I support my children to get along with each other?

Watch this video below where Suzanne explains more: 

  • Fill Your Jug 

Who’s looking after you? How can you look after others if your don’t look after yourself? Suzanne explains more here:

  • STOP, THINK, ACT

Take a moment before you act. Remember to model saying sorry if you don’t act the way you want your children to!

At Sharing Parenting we share lots of tips and strategies to support parents/carers and professionals to keep the atmosphere calm and to protect children’s self esteem for now and the future adults they will become.

These are only any good if we can remember to use them at the right time (although, none of us are perfect and being reflective and saying sorry are all good characteristics of an assertive parent).

So, what can you do in the heat of the moment, when you are all ‘emotionally flooded’?

STOP THINK take a moment to calm down, count to 10, breathe and then ACT.

Our traffic lights are one of our popular handouts – you can download yours here:  STOP THINK ACT

  • Active Listening 

What’s the difference between Listening and Active Listening? Suzanne explains here:

We aren’t taught to listen, we ‘just do it’. Some people are better than others. Sometimes as parents, things get in the way and we can be distracted when our children are trying to talk to us.

Listening does not mean fixing, it means supporting our children to work things out. To encourage them and build their self esteem.

There are 2 levels of listening – what the words are telling you and what your child is feeling. It is important to hear on both levels.

Helpful hints:

  • Make a conscious decision to listen
  • Switch off your own agenda
  • Ask open questions (who, what, where, when, how)
  • Think of your body language – open posture, nodding, facing child, eye contact when you can.
  • Resist giving advice. Remember – you’re not fixing.
  • Listen for their feelings (e.g it sounds like you’re really angry)
  • If it isn’t an appropriate time for you to listen, make an arrangement with your child to find a suitable time. Make sure you stick to it.
  • Think about how it feels when you are not listened to compared to how you feel when you are being listened to.
  • Mirror good listening to show your children how to become good listeners.
  • Don’t Say Don’t

Don’t think of a white rabbit ….I said don’t!

It’s very hard for the brain to not picture the don’t.

Children often only hear the last 2 words of your sentence so don’t even hear the don’t – you are actually asking them to do it!

If you want them to do something ask them what you want them TO DO – stay on the path, pick up your toys, take your plate to the kitchen etc.

  • Roller Coaster Parenting 

Ever feel like you’ve been given a ticket to a theme park? Being a parent is like being on a roller coaster. There are ups and downs, highs and lows. Hold on tight and enjoy the ride!

You can download the Roller Coaster Poem here

  • Connecting 

Rich shares some great tips for connecting with others and the importance of it here: 

*Rich mentions going outside but please only do this if it is safe to do so. 

  • ‘I’ statements 

How to turn behaviour around just by changing the word I from you! Ginny explains more here:

Using I instead of You gives you ownership over your feelings and actions and helps you to take responsibility for them.

You can model this so your children learn to take ownership of their feelings and actions too and know that they have control over them. 

  • If I had to raise my child again 

It’s so easy to get caught up in the housework, chores and mundane things in life. Ginny reads a poem by Dianne Loomans which reminds us to appreciate the little things which mean the most:

  • Stay Out Of The Boxing Ring

Do you find yourself in a power struggle with your child? Has the house become a battle ground? Suzanne shares some great tips and advice about ‘how to stay out of the boxing ring’ and how to spot the danger signs of being invited into it! 

  • Discipline is to TEACH

Are you teaching your children? Ginny explains more about the word discipline and what it really means here: 

You can also read lots of information on our News webpages here.

If you have enjoyed these, take a look at our Online Courses HERE.

You may also be interested in: 

How to support my child at home

and

Top Tips to Keep calm with the children at home 

and

Video top tips for positive behaviour 

and

Top Tips for helping with school closures 

and

How to talk to your children about Covid 19 

and

Emergency Contact Numbers 

and

https://www.sharingparenting.com/2019/08/15/a-to-z-of-parenting/

You can contact us or email us with your parenting questions at info@sharingparenting.com and give us a call for confidential advice on 07867 568339.